My Favourite Culture Clashes

I ordered noodles, the waitress brought rice and I complain that it's wrong. She asks "Yes, it's wrong, but can you eat it ?" - "Aeh, yes, I can eat it." and I think to myself that she should eat it herself and bring me noodles, as a punishment to make her more careful, next time.

I was bitten by a dog and asked the owner to pay me the expensive rabies vaccination. The owner said it was just a little bite, never-mind, I should forget it and just go away (like any Thai person would do). For me, my health was not never-mind. I failed to bring a weapon and eventually had to run as the man threatened to hurt me.

Regularly, people ask that I give them my bicycle, when I go back to Germany. I say that I want to take it home and use it there, while they argue that I can buy a new one because I have money. It is very difficult to explain the word "stingy" to a Thai person.

Thai music doesn't fit the western half-tone system and hence is very painful in my ear. Lyrics in a tonal language make it worse. It's hard to understand for Thais why I am so particular about not having any Thai music played. Quite a few people concluded that I simply hate them and want to annoy them.

Thais and westerners have different understandings of beauty. "I like your white skin color more than mine." - "I like your dark skin." or "Your mountainbike is dirty" - "Shouldn't a mountainbike be dirty ?"

We had people at the company who would on a regular basis lie to me without any sick feeling. Having a Christian education, I could never really handle this.

Thais are experts in staring at foreign people. Almost everyone plays this game, including some executives. People don't just stare for a minute until they had enough - no, often they sit and stare for half an hour, if a foreigner cares to stay that long. When one stares at Thais, they either look away or start to laugh. I never heard of a case were they got up, came over and punched someone's nose.

Thai and western humor are not compatible. Western jokes often confuse Thais. I feel that it's better not to tell jokes, unless to well-westernized Thais.

Things are not what they seem. I'm talking to a neatly-dressed person who drives a BMW and carries the latest Nokia handphone, but his English is so bad that I can hardly get the meaning of what he says, leave alone be treated politely. So I think to myself "Hey, you're cheating me by your appearance. Can't you just dress like a beggar ?"


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